


Envy in Vogue

by Shujinkakusama



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Cotton Candy Garnet, Drabble, F/F, Jealousy, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Pre-Canon, Tumblr Ask Box Fic, War Era, terrifying renegade pearl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-14 17:07:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10540836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shujinkakusama/pseuds/Shujinkakusama
Summary: War Era. Pearl has a lot of ugly feelings, and too many of them have to do with Garnet. Drabble/oneshot. One-sided Pearlnet if you squint.





	

Pearl envied. 

 

It was an ugly feeling, wrapped in insecurities that she didn’t like to let on. Rose Quartz was enamored with that newness, and Pearl resented, too. And wasn’t that feeling worse?

 

Garnet followed her often, and Pearl dutifully helped her learn her way around their secret bases. The new Fusion held Pearl’s arm for support sometimes, and Pearl felt her hair stand on end. She didn’t know why. She didn’t know why Garnet didn’t just walk with Bismuth, but she was glad she didn’t walk with Rose this way.

 

Even if it meant she couldn’t walk with Rose alone, herself.

 

Garnet carefully phrased requests rather than questions, and Pearl hated that, too. That she could learn so quickly. The others didn’t learn like Garnet did. She didn’t think Garnet knew about Pearl’s ingrained _need_  to answer things, to respond when prompted, but she suspected that was why Rose had told her not to ask questions. She should have been grateful. 

 

Instead she resented. She tried to smile and be pleasant, because Garnet deserved that much, at least. It wasn’t the Fusion’s fault. She wasn’t a bad _person_ , just ill-timed, in the way, infuriating, _superior_ …

 

That was the worst part, Pearl thought sourly. Garnet was better than her at all but swordplay. This beautiful accident was strong, could command three separate elements badly, and while she needed help with her unsteady legs, she could see the future, she could shoot down plans before they went sour–

 

She was perfect.

 

Pearl wasn’t. 

 

Pearl scowled while she oiled her rapier in the clearing, cleaning dirt and grime from a recent raid from the blade so she could ask Bismuth in good conscience to repair it if it needed it. There didn’t seem to be any significant nicks in the blade. 

 

“It’s bent,” Garnet offered helpfully, “Three degrees.”

 

“I could’ve guessed,” Pearl grumbled, then, realizing her mistake, looked down at her blade again and resolutely ignored the other Gem. “You shouldn’t sneak up on me. I might’ve stabbed you.”

 

They both knew Garnet was too quiet for that.

 

“It was a calculated risk,” Garnet said softly, drawing her lip between her teeth briefly. “I–Pearl, I know you don’t like me.”

 

“That’s not it.”

 

“You’re always angry with us–me.”

 

“You’re imagining things.”

 

“I want to fix it,” Garnet insisted, and Pearl wanted her to _leave_ , but she didn’t say so. “You’re–you’re angry, and jealous, and it’s going to get one of us killed.”

 

Pearl stopped her work, raising icy blue eyes to meet Garnet’s mismatched trio. “I will not get either of us killed,” she said cooly, “And I’m _not_  jealous.”

 

They both knew that was a lie.

 

Garnet said nothing, wrung her fingers in front of her. She drew in a shaky breath. “You are,” she said, and Pearl wondered which accusation Garnet was thinking of. “And I want to fix it. I don’t want any of this.”

 

“You can’t.” Pearl sheathed her sword, noting the blade’s reluctance to take to its sheath. She really would have to take it to Bismuth. “Not as you are. Not as I am.”

 

“I want–” Garnet started, and Pearl leveled a glare her way. She shut her mouth. It was too soon. 

 

“Everyone wants something,” the renegade said flatly, “I want things, too. But I won’t get them. That’s life. We don’t get what we want, Gems have to fight and earn what they get.”

 

The Fusion was quiet a minute longer, and Pearl turned to go. She could see Garnet’s knees trembling, knew she should offer a hand, and didn’t. Not right now. She would apologize later, but it wasn’t the time. 

 

“I just want to be _friends_.”

 

Pearl didn’t think she’d heard that right.

 

It hurt her heart, and she turned to see Garnet’s wide eyes brimming with tears, but Pearl couldn’t bring herself to fix it. Guilt gnawed at her belly, another ugly feeling, and something in her chest fluttered. But she shook her head.

 

“I don’t have time for friends. Maybe after the war.”

 

Pearl didn’t think she would survive that long.


End file.
